Reality - Expectations = Happiness ?

If expectations are the killer of happiness where do goals fit in? Some self-help books for high achievement go as far as to say that high achievers go into situations knowing what kind of emotions they want to experience. That seems like a lot of expectations. If this is true how does one achieve a life of groundedness while being a high achiever? Can they both fit in the balance? Is there a balance?

As the new year approaches there is all this talk of goal setting and what we want to accomplish in the upcoming year. I think all that is great, and the pursuit of bettering one’s self is noble. I think the crux presents itself when the goal becomes all-consuming. “I will be happy when goal X is met, I will be happy when I have Y things, I will be happy when I lose Z pounds.”

Here lies the problem, we must enjoy the process. Life is a process. The goals are great, dream of them, set them, devise a plan for the process of achieving them, and execute the plan. The goal itself must not be fixated on, your happiness must not hang in the balance only to be obtained if the goal is obtained. Your happiness must lie in the process. Your ability to execute the plan day in and day out and enjoy the process. That’s what true happiness is, being enough in the moment, being okay with where you are right now, and enjoying the moments in your day.

Now, I’m not saying that each moment will be easy, nor am I saying that every part of the process of a challenging goal is fun. That’s why each goal we set must have a STRONG WHY and multiple WHYS. Why do I say I want to achieve this thing? Is this thing worthy of my time or is this thing what others tell me I should want? Once you establish that the goal is worth your time now you must assess what it will take to get there. Can you make time for this goal? What time will you have to move from other things in your life to devote to this goal? Is it worth it? If all these boxes are checked carry on with the goal. But remember maybe the most important question is “Will I enjoy the process of this goal?” And if the answer is no, you better not carry on, or if the goal is something that you need to do for your health, you better find a way to enjoy the process.

Next time you set out on a lofty goal, remember to enjoy the process and don’t get too caught up in the outcome. Even if you don’t hit or surpass your goal, you are better than before you set out. Each goal is merely an opportunity for improvement and the act of setting out towards the goal is progress in itself. So enjoy the process and get after it!